


Broken

by Arkenova



Category: Inazuma Eleven GO
Genre: Anger, Angst and Feels, Bad Parenting, Broken Families, Bullying, Child Abandonment, Child Neglect, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Children, Culture Shock, Cynicism, Daydreaming, Delusions, Depression, Drabble, Emotional Baggage, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Homesickness, Hospitalization, Isolation, Light Sadism, Memories, Mental Instability, Moving, Origin Story, POV First Person, Prequel, Protective Parents, Revenge, School, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22156417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arkenova/pseuds/Arkenova
Summary: An origin story to Conan, one of my Inazuma OCs for the GOverse. It's a small drabble but heed ye now, there be dark themes here. For the most impact, listen to 'A Downfall' from Persona 4 Golden Animation while reading this.





	Broken

They always tell me to be a good child. They see my eyes and think of how innocent I look. However, they ignore the pain and suffering behind the happy mask that I'm forced to wear.

A familiar voice whispered, one that the boy could tell is of his mother as a flash of memory came across his thoughts. The family was inside a moving car with the boy strapped in, looking outside the passing landscape. "Conan, dear, we could always visit South Korea again someday. After all, Japan isn't so bad once you get used to it. Why, you get to meet new friends, go to new school and see everything else. It will be fun."

_In the mirror's reflection from the backseat of the car, emerald hues focused to the outside world despite my flowing gray hair batting against my fair face, my expression remained blank. I didn't want this as I didn't want to leave South Korea to live among strangers in Japan. I was more happy with my country even though it was hard to make friends at school._

On the day of the move, it was sunny and bright spring day as I was sitting in the back seat with objects from our old home covering up the seat next to me. The motor of the car hummed as we would be passing the bridge with other cars, zooming past us on both sides of the highway. My parents were in the front seat and it was my dad that was driving while my mom was getting a look out. Surely, they were pleased and content; after all, it was the perfect day to leave the busy city of Seoul.

My mind was wondering off somewhere else, blanking out their discussions as I reflected back to my earlier years in the country. Those years of innocence gone by and I could remember it clearly almost if it was a vivid dream. For a kid my age, prodigal they call me but I was shy and there was times that I was teased on. However, they called me a monster the moment I turned violent and it was then they would never want to associate with me anymore. Occasionally, I only cause fights among my peers if they wronged me and the only people I could trust were the adults, if not my parents however, sometimes, they would pull the psychological hat tricks.

From concerned teachers, my parents would be asked to get me treated however they would shrug it off as a phase. Even when I get diagnosed in time, my parents still deny that I'm different and that's why I wasn't given medications because my parents weren't going to accept the fact that I was broken. They even denied the fact of me going to counseling would help out and they would just lick the wounds and move on without fail.

_I often ask that should they be afraid that it is their own negligence that this happens? Or are they refusing to accept that there could be something wrong? That they can't handle the truth? I was a poor naive child I was at that time with wanting to bond with his family. My parents didn't want to accept that they have a broken child and I should be just as normal as any other child, nothing more, nothing less._

Over the course of time, things didn't improve once we got to Japan with being faced with the naturalization process over the years. However, as much as I would view my mom as a tryhard, my dad found it difficult to bond with me. Maybe that's why he left to his work often and did it so he wouldn't tolerate the pain of raising a child who wasn't supposed to be broken.

_Am I a disgrace because I had no control of my own fate when I was brought into this world? Am I not enough to please anyone? I didn't understand at first but in time, the dark realization eventually reeled its ugly head in my direction, teeth baring at me, saying that I'm not enough in this world. Thoughts of being some useless pawn to the grand scheme of things, pretty much like chess, which is a game that I was highly fond of, began to haunt me._

The more I think about it, the more I believed that my parents didn't try to understand me. In fact, they had no problem plopping me down in front a video game or a computer and leaving me there after my schoolwork or rather homework was done. Even while in the new town, I was teased by the local children and on that fateful day, their weapon of choice? It was a single soccerball. An object that should be something with no significance however the incident would land me in the hospital room as it was a bad enough injury.

While in recovery, I wonder why do people like this game? It's not like it can change lives because it doesn't make sense. All soccer is a game, not a lifestyle, and that was when I heard about Raimon's story when I did my research. The locals praised the school as it is some sort of savior of the sport and a part of me wanted to do something. Something of an experiment and I wanted in even if it's some sport and that was something that driven me even despite of how my life is.

My heart ached. Shameful little child. What is that they have that I don't? Why me of all people? Why am the odd one out? It doesn't make any sense! When everyone has something that I want, I only craved more as I didn't want to be a nobody. I want the attention that I was lacking even if I have to go to desperate measures. Part of me wanted an escape from the mundane and sure, it wasn't some sort of fantasy game, it helped me develop a cover and as I didn't want to admit it but when it came to other people joining in, I didn't let them unless they begged me.

In fact, I rather work alone and not with some group to drag me down into the dirt, turning them into their scapegoat. It's more fun that way especially when people get infuriated when they are outmatched by someone who is more talented and capable than them. I worked hard as I could easily see past their moves multiple steps ahead and nobody else could surpass my foresight. It actually made my day better when someone is miserable and for some reason, I liked that and I wanted more.

Besides that, I only kept the friendly face around my family despite of what happens since the plan of having soccer distracting my mom was the best as it made her get off my case with developing a 'friendship' but the truth is she doesn't know the full thing because she's just as in the dark, alongside with my dad.

**My only regret was that I should had ran away from home a long time ago. Maybe once I'm back in South Korea, I'll feel like that I'm home again.**

In my mind, soccer was only a tool, nothing more, nothing less. If the locals of Inazuma Town assumes that I'm one of the soccerhappy Raimon kids, they have another thing coming.

**I'm not here to play their game, I'm here to cause change, one way or another.**


End file.
